Some people love Valentine’s Day; some think it’s dumb. Regardless of where you stand, today I’m thinking of the single gals who lost a love or wish they had one. I didn’t meet my husband until I was 32. So, I have had MANY solo Valentine’s Days. He’s actually my first and only Valentine (which I know sounds sad, but I’m actually really grateful for it).
If you find yourself in a place similar to where I was, I would encourage you to cling to what I did (and still do) –
The Lord is good and has a sovereign plan over all creation, including your life. His wisdom, ways, and timing are FAR GREATER than ours.
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There aren’t enough hours in a day to express the stories I could tell you that prove that in my own life.
If you believe Jesus conquered death and gave you new life for all eternity (2 Timothy 1:10), how could you not also believe something as small as bringing you a spouse would be too hard? If we believe Colossians 1:17 where is says He holds literally all things together, how could we not trust Him with this area too?
How many times have we prayed for something only to see it not happen, and then as time passed, we are so thankful God chose something else for us?
Because we know God’s character and His proven love for us by giving up His son to die for our sins, we know He gives us what is best for our life. That may mean a spouse OR not – either way, it is best for us.
We know that “no good thing does he withhold” from His daughters (Psalm 84:11). We know that even in the hardest, most lonely times, our circumstances don’t prove anything but how fallen and broken this world is and how much sweeter eternity will be (Revelation 21:4). We know that our present season of life is a SEASON, and that this season is producing something far better and more beautiful than anything that could have been produced in our best times of life (even when it doesn’t feel like that). (Romans 5:3-5)
We also know our feelings do NOT equate truth.
As a counselor, I would often remind my clients that emotions are fickle (especially if you’re a woman) and cannot be trusted to paint pictures of reality. We cannot be enslaved to these emotions to dictate our thoughts of God, ourselves, men, our jobs, etc. So incase you need to hear it like I did:
No, you’re not “too broken” to be loved
No, you’re not too fat or skinny, your boobs and butt aren’t too small, and your stomach is just fine
No, your family situation doesn’t impact your lovability
Nope, not even your past mistakes with men
No, you’re not “too much” or “not enough” for someone to spend their life with you
All of these are lies from the pit of hell and have no value to the truth of who God is and His plans for your life or mine.
When Vday after Vday came and went, and I was still single, I definitely had moments of hopelessness.
But the longer I walk with the Lord and pursue the Kingdom of God in my everyday life, the more I see His faithfulness in the big and the small.
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As Christians, our lives on this side of eternity is one, big adventure of showing the world the goodness of our God! And that will look different in every life and every season of life. The urgency of sharing the Gospel is great. If you’re His daughter, you’re literally holding the answer everyone is searching for – Jesus.
If the Lord has a husband for you, He WILL BRING HIM. But it’s at His time (which is rarely ours) for reasons we cannot see. But we know His thoughts and His ways are not like ours (Isaiah 55:8-9). And praise God for that! LOL I’m so thankful I didn’t end up with any the guys I dated or had crushes on. I’m SO THANKFUL I waited the (what seemed impossible) years to meet Matt.
It’s better to remain single with a longing for marriage, than to be married to the wrong guy (don’t compromise ladies!!!!!)
Matt is a better than I could have ever imagined or chosen for myself. I have experienced more love and healing in our relationship than any other experience of life.
God knew what was best for me at His time (which was perfect).
The thing I did that I would encourage every single Christian woman to do is pursue the Kingdom of God with your life. Spread the Gospel, spend hours reading His word, volunteer and serve at your church. Learn about God and live a life worthy of the Gospel.
I definitely didn’t do those things perfect; however, I met my husband by taking a job in a different state to teach college women about Jesus. I had no idea if this was “God’s will for my life,” but I figured He would want me to spend this life helping others know Him. I truly thought that I would most likely remain single for my time on earth. But then, like many times before, God proved me wrong and four weeks after my moved, I met Matt.
I don’t know if that will be your story, but what I do know is that God has one for you. Every day of your life is written in His book (Psalm 139:16) And in some crazy mix (that we will never understand on this side of eternity) of His sovereignty and our free will, He is working all things together for our good and His glory. Trust in Him always, no matter the season.
“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
Psalm 16:11
Ashlyn Lanni 